It has been a couple of weeks since my last blog. It has been crazy since I got back to the states and the blog is not Heidi's thing.
It took me three days to get home but when I finally arrived in Dallas I wanted to roll around on the ground and kiss the dirty tile floor of the Airport. Just like Kevin Costner in Robin Hood. "Home At Last"
Being back on American soil was one thing but when I arrived at my hotel my Father in law and Daughter were waiting for me. She was so beautiful and excited to see me. Even the worst Jet lag ever couldn't keep me from giving her a huge hug, After all it had been three months since I had seen her. 6 weeks in Dallas prior to Ukraine and then 6 weeks in Ukraine. I said a couple of quick hello's at the hotel and then it was off to the house. The last time I saw the house it was an empty shell but now it was filled with all of our belongings even Hewy and Lewis were there to greet me. It was wonderful to see them although they probably only thought I was gone an hour since they react the same way every time you come home. You know running around like a crazy animal, sniffing, snorting, drooling and ready to pee at the slightest petting.
The house looked amazing, we left living in VA and returned to TX like the moving fairies just went "poof" all done. Only the moving fairies were my daughter and father in-law who had worked to exhaustion for weeks to move our stuff and make the new place feel like home.
If I had to describe being home in one word it would be overwhelming, Yes there is lots to do at home and at work but that is not what i mean. The blessings, luxury and convenience that we enjoy as Americans is overwhelming. Simple things like shopping at a grocery store and it not taking 20 min to figure out which can is tuna and which of those is in water not oil. Driving in a nice car down a nice 6 lane highway. I don't think there is a 6 lane highway anywhere in Ukraine and certainly not a nice one. Believe it or not I was excited to see road construction the fact that our country has the money to fix our roads is wonderful. I could spend pages listing the overwhelming feeling of being home but lets just make it easy and say EVERYTHING!
So While Heidi and Jackie waited out the 10 days I was trying register London for school. Registering London took 3 days but finally we did it. She loves her new school. Jae stayed for a week and drove back to PA on Thursday. By Thursday I was a single parent with my better half stuck in the Ukraine. By Thursday Heidi was going nuts, a whole week of waiting in Ukraine will do that to anyone, plus she was not feeling well. since the children had left Berdyansk to return to the Orphanage in Zaporishia Heidi and Jackie decided to head for Zaporishia themselves. Not only would they be able to see the kids again but a missions team from our church was also at the Orphanage. What a relief it has been over the last few days for Heidi and Jackie to see friends. In addition there are multiple translators so it has been easier for Iliah to communicate. He has taken to Heidi again, he waits for her everyday and is glued to her side. He also is excited about the baby, asking all kinds of questions and rubbing Heidi's belly. He is convinced its a Boy. He parades Heidi around the Orphanage introducing everyone to his Mama.
Multiple teachers have commented on his new found confidence and how protective he is of Heidi. Everyday he tells her how many days he has to go home to America.
Tonight is Iliahs last night in the Orphanage. I wonder what he is thinking. Is it bitter sweet? or is it like the night before Christmas? Will he be able to sleep at all? Is he nervous?
I can't wait for the day Iliah can tell us what this whole experience was like for him. Tomorrow Hedi, Victor and Jackie go to Iliahs home town to get his new Birth Certificate then they go to the Orphanage to sign him out for good!!!!!!!! They get his passport, get a few things notarized and then on the train for Kiev.
..... Meanwhile back in the US of A I continue as a single parent. To all those single parents out there you have my prayers and respect. I have no idea how you do it. It gives me a new respect for Heidi who did it for 7 years. although the single parenting is difficult the one on one time with London is great. Its like a 10 day Daddy Daughter date!
I must admit I miss Heidi terribly and can not wait for them to be home. Only a matter of days til my whole family is together. Hallelujah!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
the Update
I am posting this from my blackberry. Illiah is officially ours the court ruled today.so everything is on schedule for them to come home on Sept 3rd
I get on the train tonight
I get on the train tonight
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Part 26 We can see the Finish Line
Hopes are high here in Ukraine. After the completion of our first court date we finally had a timeline to the End. No more waiting around without a plan or schedule. There are a few variables but they are so minor that they should not change the homecoming of Illiah.
Today Victor arrives in Berdyansk, he will be arriving around 6pm. We are excited to see him and to talk through all the details for the remainder of our trip.
Tomorrow is our Final court date. 10am in Zaporishia so we will have to get picked up @ 5:15am. The Director changed her mind and decided to come to the second court date. I am not sure why when she is still on vacation. She could have sent anyone from the Orphanage. Both Victor and I are nervous about the Director being involved after the last episode. I can only hope we do not have a repeat. We will pick her up @ 5:30 am then go to pick up Illiah. I pray she will be ready and not delay our arrival.
The last court hearing was only 30 min. This one is scheduled to be a couple of hours as the Judge reads through all the documents. Anything can happen here but there are no red flags at this point that would make us think the court should not go according to plan. By the end of tomorrow the Judge will officially declare Illiah as our son and approve the issuance of a new birth certificate. Then we Part ways...
I get on the Train with Victor and head for Kiev. After the overnight train ride we go to the Embassy to file all the paperwork for Illiah's Visa and Passport. Then @ 1:30 I fly to London. I have to spend the night in London as it was the only reasonable airfare available. Side note: anyone considering international adoption should look at using Golden Rule Travel they are a non profit travel agency that specializes in Missions trips and Adoptions. They have been able to find me flights at 50% of what I was able to find.
Friday Morning I leave London and will land in Dallas @ 3:40pm. "God Bless America"
Meanwhile Heidi, Jackie and Illiah will head back to Berdyansk where they will wait out the 10 day waiting period, Actually it will be more like 12 since the 10 days falls on a Sat and the courts are not open on Sat, Sun or Mon.
On August 25th Illiah leaves Berdyansk and heads back to the Orphanage in Zaporishia (the summer camp is over). On August 31st Heidi and Jackie will go to Illiahs home town with Victor to get Illiahs new birth certificate. Then head to Zaporishia to meet with the Director and sign him out of the orphanage. At this point Illiah is ours and never returns to the Orphanage. They will then get on the train for Kiev. There are a couple of days worth of Paperwork to finalize in Kiev but Friday morning the 3rd of September they should board a plane, connect in Frankfurt and then home to Dallas.
Then the trumpets sound, the crowd cheers and the fireworks explode as the Berlins are finally together again. It helps to make the time go faster when you know there is an end in sight.
We just got back from the beach, My last time to deal with the unpleasantness of the beach but also my last time to wrestle, play catch and throw Illiah and his brother around. For a moment I am sad but then the next time I see Illiah he will be our son and on American soil.
Tonight I will go to the Camp for the last time and play Soccer with all the kids. The camp has been interesting as of late, I have been going by myself because when Jackie and Heidi go they get surrounded and some of the boys get out of hand and say some inappropriate things. There are many wonderful kids at the camp but there are also the bad eggs. We have seen two fights in the last week both of which Illiah stepped in to break up. It is a hard life for these kids and there is certainly a pecking order. Illiah is boisterous and bossy when he is with his peers but when the older kids are around he is very quiet. He seems to be pretty street smart as to what conflict should be avoided.
After spending almost 6 weeks with Illiah it is interesting to see how a child that is not your flesh and blood can share so many similarities, London has certainly shown me this as well over the years. For starters I bite my nails(I know bad habit) Illiah also bites his nails. I don't like the carbonation in bottled sodas so I shake them up to reduce the gas, Illiah does the same thing with every soda. Even though Illiah is in a dirty Summer camp he is always the cleanest kid at the camp, He also does not like germs. Every time he shares a beverage with another kid he wipes off the lip of the bottle just like Heidi would do. Of course he is strong willed and super competitive which is nothing like his Mom and Dad Ha Ha. He is a leader among his peers, out spoken and opinionated. In fact I was pretty sure before but now I am positive he is definately a Berlin!!
He also share something with London. Illiah has great discernment when it comes to selecting friends. There are not a lot of people that Illiah likes at the camp and many of them he says they are bad. all of the kids Illiah hangs around with are sweet and kind. London has always done a great job of selecting friends to the point of ending friendships if her friends start to involve themselves in the wrong things. I can't wait to see Illiah and London take care of each other.
Two weeks from today Heidi and Jackie will sign Illiah out from the Orphanage forever.
Today Victor arrives in Berdyansk, he will be arriving around 6pm. We are excited to see him and to talk through all the details for the remainder of our trip.
Tomorrow is our Final court date. 10am in Zaporishia so we will have to get picked up @ 5:15am. The Director changed her mind and decided to come to the second court date. I am not sure why when she is still on vacation. She could have sent anyone from the Orphanage. Both Victor and I are nervous about the Director being involved after the last episode. I can only hope we do not have a repeat. We will pick her up @ 5:30 am then go to pick up Illiah. I pray she will be ready and not delay our arrival.
The last court hearing was only 30 min. This one is scheduled to be a couple of hours as the Judge reads through all the documents. Anything can happen here but there are no red flags at this point that would make us think the court should not go according to plan. By the end of tomorrow the Judge will officially declare Illiah as our son and approve the issuance of a new birth certificate. Then we Part ways...
I get on the Train with Victor and head for Kiev. After the overnight train ride we go to the Embassy to file all the paperwork for Illiah's Visa and Passport. Then @ 1:30 I fly to London. I have to spend the night in London as it was the only reasonable airfare available. Side note: anyone considering international adoption should look at using Golden Rule Travel they are a non profit travel agency that specializes in Missions trips and Adoptions. They have been able to find me flights at 50% of what I was able to find.
Friday Morning I leave London and will land in Dallas @ 3:40pm. "God Bless America"
Meanwhile Heidi, Jackie and Illiah will head back to Berdyansk where they will wait out the 10 day waiting period, Actually it will be more like 12 since the 10 days falls on a Sat and the courts are not open on Sat, Sun or Mon.
On August 25th Illiah leaves Berdyansk and heads back to the Orphanage in Zaporishia (the summer camp is over). On August 31st Heidi and Jackie will go to Illiahs home town with Victor to get Illiahs new birth certificate. Then head to Zaporishia to meet with the Director and sign him out of the orphanage. At this point Illiah is ours and never returns to the Orphanage. They will then get on the train for Kiev. There are a couple of days worth of Paperwork to finalize in Kiev but Friday morning the 3rd of September they should board a plane, connect in Frankfurt and then home to Dallas.
Then the trumpets sound, the crowd cheers and the fireworks explode as the Berlins are finally together again. It helps to make the time go faster when you know there is an end in sight.
We just got back from the beach, My last time to deal with the unpleasantness of the beach but also my last time to wrestle, play catch and throw Illiah and his brother around. For a moment I am sad but then the next time I see Illiah he will be our son and on American soil.
Tonight I will go to the Camp for the last time and play Soccer with all the kids. The camp has been interesting as of late, I have been going by myself because when Jackie and Heidi go they get surrounded and some of the boys get out of hand and say some inappropriate things. There are many wonderful kids at the camp but there are also the bad eggs. We have seen two fights in the last week both of which Illiah stepped in to break up. It is a hard life for these kids and there is certainly a pecking order. Illiah is boisterous and bossy when he is with his peers but when the older kids are around he is very quiet. He seems to be pretty street smart as to what conflict should be avoided.
After spending almost 6 weeks with Illiah it is interesting to see how a child that is not your flesh and blood can share so many similarities, London has certainly shown me this as well over the years. For starters I bite my nails(I know bad habit) Illiah also bites his nails. I don't like the carbonation in bottled sodas so I shake them up to reduce the gas, Illiah does the same thing with every soda. Even though Illiah is in a dirty Summer camp he is always the cleanest kid at the camp, He also does not like germs. Every time he shares a beverage with another kid he wipes off the lip of the bottle just like Heidi would do. Of course he is strong willed and super competitive which is nothing like his Mom and Dad Ha Ha. He is a leader among his peers, out spoken and opinionated. In fact I was pretty sure before but now I am positive he is definately a Berlin!!
He also share something with London. Illiah has great discernment when it comes to selecting friends. There are not a lot of people that Illiah likes at the camp and many of them he says they are bad. all of the kids Illiah hangs around with are sweet and kind. London has always done a great job of selecting friends to the point of ending friendships if her friends start to involve themselves in the wrong things. I can't wait to see Illiah and London take care of each other.
Two weeks from today Heidi and Jackie will sign Illiah out from the Orphanage forever.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Part 25 The love of a Mother and Father
Day 35 of the Ukraine adventure.
As We sit here in Ukraine waiting for our second court date, spending way more time and money than we expected I can't help but be amazed by the two people who have put their lives on hold and sacrifice as much as we have for the adoption of Illiah.
Heidi's Mom and Dad. I can honestly say that I hope every married man has the pleasure of having such wonderful In-Laws as I. From the moment we met at church and Jae invited me to lunch( the day after Heidi and my first date) they have been loving and supportive. I remember how excited they were and how involved they were in our engagement and wedding. They were even there for the proposal.
I often reflect back and think if London came to me saying she was going to get married to a guy she only met three weeks ago how I would react. Certainly not with the grace and support Jae and Jackie did. with in Two months I had taken from them a daughter and a grand daughter that they were able to see everyday. All this and still they were supportive, strike that! More than supportive they were and have been our biggest fans.
During every life challenge and move they have been there, every time we needed them. They have truly become second parents to me. We love spending time with them and never want to see them leave. All though they have been there for everything, none have required the time and sacrifice as this.
When we started this adoption I told my Father In Law that I would be here 2 weeks. If I only knew then what I know now. So the plan was that he would spend a fun two weeks with London and I would be home. Well 2 weeks turned into 6 weeks. So my Father In Law has spent 6 weeks away from his home and work. While taking care of a teenage girl and two dogs. He has registered her for her new school, Bought school supplies and school clothes. Cleaned and prepared the VA house for the Movers. Changed mailing addresses, Shut off utilities and supervised the Move from VA. He then drove from VA to TX to meet the movers, Organize, unpack and clean the house. Words cannot express my gratitude and love I have for Jae and Jackie. This adoption would not be possible with out them.
On the other side of the world is Jae's wife Jackie who came with us on this crazy Ukraine adventure. There aren't many 60 year old women who could handle this trip and do it with a perpetual positive attitude and love for adventure. Again I was only suppose to be here for 2 weeks so the intention of her being here was to be with Heidi. Although she will do just that come this Thursday when I start the trip home It has been such a blessing to have her here this entire time. All in All Jae and Jackie will go 2 months without seeing each other, all for the love they have for us and Illiah!
To Jae and Jackie thank you. For your support, love and sacrifice!
As We sit here in Ukraine waiting for our second court date, spending way more time and money than we expected I can't help but be amazed by the two people who have put their lives on hold and sacrifice as much as we have for the adoption of Illiah.
Heidi's Mom and Dad. I can honestly say that I hope every married man has the pleasure of having such wonderful In-Laws as I. From the moment we met at church and Jae invited me to lunch( the day after Heidi and my first date) they have been loving and supportive. I remember how excited they were and how involved they were in our engagement and wedding. They were even there for the proposal.
I often reflect back and think if London came to me saying she was going to get married to a guy she only met three weeks ago how I would react. Certainly not with the grace and support Jae and Jackie did. with in Two months I had taken from them a daughter and a grand daughter that they were able to see everyday. All this and still they were supportive, strike that! More than supportive they were and have been our biggest fans.
During every life challenge and move they have been there, every time we needed them. They have truly become second parents to me. We love spending time with them and never want to see them leave. All though they have been there for everything, none have required the time and sacrifice as this.
When we started this adoption I told my Father In Law that I would be here 2 weeks. If I only knew then what I know now. So the plan was that he would spend a fun two weeks with London and I would be home. Well 2 weeks turned into 6 weeks. So my Father In Law has spent 6 weeks away from his home and work. While taking care of a teenage girl and two dogs. He has registered her for her new school, Bought school supplies and school clothes. Cleaned and prepared the VA house for the Movers. Changed mailing addresses, Shut off utilities and supervised the Move from VA. He then drove from VA to TX to meet the movers, Organize, unpack and clean the house. Words cannot express my gratitude and love I have for Jae and Jackie. This adoption would not be possible with out them.
On the other side of the world is Jae's wife Jackie who came with us on this crazy Ukraine adventure. There aren't many 60 year old women who could handle this trip and do it with a perpetual positive attitude and love for adventure. Again I was only suppose to be here for 2 weeks so the intention of her being here was to be with Heidi. Although she will do just that come this Thursday when I start the trip home It has been such a blessing to have her here this entire time. All in All Jae and Jackie will go 2 months without seeing each other, all for the love they have for us and Illiah!
To Jae and Jackie thank you. For your support, love and sacrifice!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Part 24 Court Part II
The morning we had waited for had arrived. Our first court appointment was at 11am. One Month from the day we left the states.
We were picked up @ 7:15am at our apartment. We then had to go pick up the Director of the Orphanage and her son who were on vacation/ rest in Berdyansk. Side not it seems that everyone in this country is always on these month long rests. No wonder nothing gets done here everyone is always on Holiday, Vacation or Rest.
We got to the Directors Resting place @ 7:30 she was to be ready. Our driver called her and she said she and her son were eating breakfast. We were already irritated that we had to pay to drive her to Zaporishia and that there would be two adults and two kids crammed in a back seat of a car for 3 hours. You would think it would just be part of these people's job to be at the court appointment for adoption but No... Every step we take in this process is like we are beggars.
After 30 min of waiting she finally finished her breakfast and we were off to the Summer camp to pick up Illiah. When we got there they called Illiah and I had Illiah change into the court clothes we got him. The Director came up to me and said she would be back in ten min. She took the driver and left us stranded at the camp for an Hour and a Half!!! We had no Idea what was going on. There we were stuck wool suit clothes and all waiting for the director. She finally showed up @ 9:45am. Our court appointment was @ 11am and it is a 3 hour drive.
When she showed up she was in a new change of clothes. I am not sure why she changed she was already dressed up when we picked her up after breakfast. I had the driver call Victor so he could explain to me what the heck was going on. He asked me what was going on. the director told Victor that we were late and that is why we had not left. He thought we were on our way to Zaporishia already. He was surprised to find out we hadn't left yet.
Victor thought the Director was stalling on purpose because she didn't want to go to court and that she prefers the Italian's adopting children over the Americans. Victor made it clear he does not care for the Director. She has proven to him that she is dishonest and does not care about the children. This was obvious as she did not speak a word to Illiah during the 3 hour car ride. One of your orphans is getting adopted and you have nothing to say to them?!?
So finally we were on our way. There were four of us in the back seat The director, her son, Illiah and I. The Director and her son sat side by side taking up 3/4 of the back seat. It only left enough room for my butt so Illiah had to sit on my lap. Now I love my Son but 80 lbs on my lap for 3 hours while I am in a wool pair of pants squeezed up against the Ice Queen and her son is more than I could take. the boiling point for me literally was the lack of A/C, Oh the car had A/C but the guy who is controlling it is in a sleeveless mesh shirt and short shorts. Why can't the driver wear more clothes. I am in wool pants sandwiched in like a sardine with an 80lb heating pack on my lap while, Driver man is only half dressed.
Victor had lots of speculations as to why the Director would make us 2 hours late for court but all I know is she made us two hours late to a court date we have waited a month to get. then lied to Victor about the reason why.
Well with a Miracle from God and a little wheeling and dealing from Victor the court waited two hours for our arrival. I don't know who was more shocked the court waited, Us or the Director.
When we got to the court we were whisked right in. There were 11 people in the court room. The Director, Inspector, Lawyer, Secretary, 2 Jurors and the Judge. We were expecting the judge to be harsh from what we have been told but we found him to be nice just a stickler for the rules.
I was the first he asked to speak to. I stood and he asked me why we wanted to adopt this child. I went through our story, from trying to have a baby, to hosting Illiah, to starting the adoption process, to getting pregnant. I explained that our families future only exist with a new baby and Iliah. I explained that God has blessed us twice. After telling our story the whole court room burst in to smiles, laughter and chatting between the officials. The judge then spoke to Heidi who looked as pregnant as she possibly could. She shed a single tear as she told the judge of her resolve to adopt Iliah even though she was pregnant. "And the Oscar goes too..."
The Judge then asked Illiah to stand. He was obviously nervous but so cute. The judge asked him if he had spent time with us. Illiah said three weeks. The judge asked what the three weeks was like. Illiah talked about our home, his room, London our daughter and the two nice Sabackas(Dogs) He talked about all the things we did over the three weeks. The judge then asked if Illiah wanted us to be his parents and that we were only adopting him not his siblings. Illiah said yes and understood. The judge then told Illiah that his two older siblings would soon be 18 and they could assume guardian ship of him so he wouldn't have to be in the orphanage. Illiah said he knew and still wanted to be adopted.
The judge then ruled an approval for the adoption and scheduled the final court date for 1 week later. We shook the judges hands and waited in the hall for Victor. Victor was very pleased that we got the quickest court date of any of the previous couples. Victor said that the judge and jury really liked us and our story.
The Director decided not to ride back to Berdyansk with us, she wanted to take her sons friend back with her so she decided to take the bus. Illiah had to go back with her on the bus. And of Course I had to pay for 4 bus tickets to get them back to Berdyansk.
Victor and I had so many words we wanted to share with the Director but Victor said it best when he said" I keep those things hidden in my soul so she cannot make trouble for the adoption. The longer I am here the more I am amazed at what character and strength Victor possesses.
Fortunately the Director said she would be sending someone else from the Orphanage to our second court date.
God is Good!
We were picked up @ 7:15am at our apartment. We then had to go pick up the Director of the Orphanage and her son who were on vacation/ rest in Berdyansk. Side not it seems that everyone in this country is always on these month long rests. No wonder nothing gets done here everyone is always on Holiday, Vacation or Rest.
We got to the Directors Resting place @ 7:30 she was to be ready. Our driver called her and she said she and her son were eating breakfast. We were already irritated that we had to pay to drive her to Zaporishia and that there would be two adults and two kids crammed in a back seat of a car for 3 hours. You would think it would just be part of these people's job to be at the court appointment for adoption but No... Every step we take in this process is like we are beggars.
After 30 min of waiting she finally finished her breakfast and we were off to the Summer camp to pick up Illiah. When we got there they called Illiah and I had Illiah change into the court clothes we got him. The Director came up to me and said she would be back in ten min. She took the driver and left us stranded at the camp for an Hour and a Half!!! We had no Idea what was going on. There we were stuck wool suit clothes and all waiting for the director. She finally showed up @ 9:45am. Our court appointment was @ 11am and it is a 3 hour drive.
When she showed up she was in a new change of clothes. I am not sure why she changed she was already dressed up when we picked her up after breakfast. I had the driver call Victor so he could explain to me what the heck was going on. He asked me what was going on. the director told Victor that we were late and that is why we had not left. He thought we were on our way to Zaporishia already. He was surprised to find out we hadn't left yet.
Victor thought the Director was stalling on purpose because she didn't want to go to court and that she prefers the Italian's adopting children over the Americans. Victor made it clear he does not care for the Director. She has proven to him that she is dishonest and does not care about the children. This was obvious as she did not speak a word to Illiah during the 3 hour car ride. One of your orphans is getting adopted and you have nothing to say to them?!?
So finally we were on our way. There were four of us in the back seat The director, her son, Illiah and I. The Director and her son sat side by side taking up 3/4 of the back seat. It only left enough room for my butt so Illiah had to sit on my lap. Now I love my Son but 80 lbs on my lap for 3 hours while I am in a wool pair of pants squeezed up against the Ice Queen and her son is more than I could take. the boiling point for me literally was the lack of A/C, Oh the car had A/C but the guy who is controlling it is in a sleeveless mesh shirt and short shorts. Why can't the driver wear more clothes. I am in wool pants sandwiched in like a sardine with an 80lb heating pack on my lap while, Driver man is only half dressed.
Victor had lots of speculations as to why the Director would make us 2 hours late for court but all I know is she made us two hours late to a court date we have waited a month to get. then lied to Victor about the reason why.
Well with a Miracle from God and a little wheeling and dealing from Victor the court waited two hours for our arrival. I don't know who was more shocked the court waited, Us or the Director.
When we got to the court we were whisked right in. There were 11 people in the court room. The Director, Inspector, Lawyer, Secretary, 2 Jurors and the Judge. We were expecting the judge to be harsh from what we have been told but we found him to be nice just a stickler for the rules.
I was the first he asked to speak to. I stood and he asked me why we wanted to adopt this child. I went through our story, from trying to have a baby, to hosting Illiah, to starting the adoption process, to getting pregnant. I explained that our families future only exist with a new baby and Iliah. I explained that God has blessed us twice. After telling our story the whole court room burst in to smiles, laughter and chatting between the officials. The judge then spoke to Heidi who looked as pregnant as she possibly could. She shed a single tear as she told the judge of her resolve to adopt Iliah even though she was pregnant. "And the Oscar goes too..."
The Judge then asked Illiah to stand. He was obviously nervous but so cute. The judge asked him if he had spent time with us. Illiah said three weeks. The judge asked what the three weeks was like. Illiah talked about our home, his room, London our daughter and the two nice Sabackas(Dogs) He talked about all the things we did over the three weeks. The judge then asked if Illiah wanted us to be his parents and that we were only adopting him not his siblings. Illiah said yes and understood. The judge then told Illiah that his two older siblings would soon be 18 and they could assume guardian ship of him so he wouldn't have to be in the orphanage. Illiah said he knew and still wanted to be adopted.
The judge then ruled an approval for the adoption and scheduled the final court date for 1 week later. We shook the judges hands and waited in the hall for Victor. Victor was very pleased that we got the quickest court date of any of the previous couples. Victor said that the judge and jury really liked us and our story.
The Director decided not to ride back to Berdyansk with us, she wanted to take her sons friend back with her so she decided to take the bus. Illiah had to go back with her on the bus. And of Course I had to pay for 4 bus tickets to get them back to Berdyansk.
Victor and I had so many words we wanted to share with the Director but Victor said it best when he said" I keep those things hidden in my soul so she cannot make trouble for the adoption. The longer I am here the more I am amazed at what character and strength Victor possesses.
Fortunately the Director said she would be sending someone else from the Orphanage to our second court date.
God is Good!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Part 23 Court
This will be my shortest blog to date.
It was an extremely difficult day. I will fill in the details when I can write a G rated blog.
Until then...
Our court date went well they agree with the adoption and have scheduled our second court date for the 18th at 10am. This means I must stay one more week. but when I fly home next week I am home for good.
Thank you for the thoughts and prayers we needed them today.
His new name is
Illiah Jay Berlin
It was an extremely difficult day. I will fill in the details when I can write a G rated blog.
Until then...
Our court date went well they agree with the adoption and have scheduled our second court date for the 18th at 10am. This means I must stay one more week. but when I fly home next week I am home for good.
Thank you for the thoughts and prayers we needed them today.
His new name is
Illiah Jay Berlin
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Part 22 The Camp
Today officially marks 1 month since we left the states. I can't believe it has taken us more than a month to get a court date. Victor is very frustrated as well and says he is not interested in facilitating adoptions for the Zaporishia orphanage anymore due to how difficult this new judge is. He said he will steer future families to Other regions where the process is quicker.
That is good for future adoptive parents but for us for now here we are WAITING! I feel like we are in a plane circling the airport but never landing. Well We should see Victor today or tomorrow and I am looking forward to having him around Iliah so we can ask him some more in depth questions or maybe Iliah can ask us some.
Lately we have been going to the camp at 4pm everyday instead of the beach. We are more likely to catch the kids there in the afternoon plus my body can't handle anymore of the beach. I feel like my skin is about to split open into gaping wounds. Between the piercing sun, Salt and the Full body exfoliation you get as the sand whips against your skin, I've had enough. I don't even like the beach. I would rather camp or vacation in the mountains.
I have started to look forward to the camp. Although it started off weird a few days a go. Heidi and Jackie decided to stay at the apartment while i went to the camp. When I got there I went to the wash house where I have found Iliah and Vlady in the past. This time Vanya a tall thin gawky kid about Vladys age that has been hanging out with us found me. I asked him where Iliah and Vlady were. He took me in to this Building where Leza was watching TV with Friends and Vlady was kneeling on the floor wit his should pressed against the wall. Like it was some sort of time out. He looked as if he had been crying so I asked him if he was ok. He burst into tears and hide his face from me. I asked Leza what was wrong, I'm not sure if she didn't understand me or if she didn't care. I asked her where Ilah was and she took me over to his cabin where he was with his teacher. Iliah was all dressed up, I don't know where he got the clothes but He was wearing Cream colored linen dress pants and a white form fitting the sweater. He looked like he was ready for church. The whole clothing thing is odd at the Camp. They usually wear the same clothes for about 4 days then they wash their clothes and hang them up to dry. After that its a free for all, all the kids share clothes and it seems that it is on a first come first serve basis. There are only two things that have seem consistent with Iliah clothing( the speedo he wears to swim and this Blue pull over hooded shirt that has an American flag on it).
When we found Iliah I had to ask his teacher if he could walk around the camp with me. Let me tell you about the teachers I have met. They make it perfectly clear that they don't like me, everyday I have to go ask there permission for my Son to spend time with me. We've been here a month for Pete's sake I am there the same time everyday yet they continue to make me go through the process of asking their permission. It is so irritating to be under the control of a troglodyte with nothing better to do then make it difficult to spend time with my son. Even though I would love to take the teacher out in the water and hold them under til they begged me to stop I can't because the reality is I need them, for now! I keep telling myself I get to go home and they will be stuck here forever! Both of Iliah's teachers are men in there early 20's. They are extremely rough with the kids when they are out of line and they look at us as if we are a trespassing disease. I am sure that there are some teachers who are not like this, I just haven't met any at the camp. Also I can't seem to forget what Victor said. He said that many of the teachers tell the children that Americans will take them home and chop them up into pieces or do other terrible things to them if they get adopted. I guess Victor has dealt with this many times. He said the teachers do it because of job security. The less children in the orphanages the less money they get. Doesn't that just make you want to go crazy!?!
Well after I went through the disgusting privilege of talking to his teacher I told Iliah that Vlady was crying so we went to find him. By this time he had left the building I originally found him. We found him in the wash house in the corner crying. Iliah tried to ask him what was wrong but he covered his face and ran away from us. We followed him into his cabin. Wow the cabin, Holy Cow what a stench. This was a tiny one room cabin with about 10 dwarfs beds all side by side. No wonder the kids don't spend a lot of time in their cabins.
After following Vlady and still having no success we went to the Soccer field. This is what I come to the camp for. My daily dose of humble pie as I stumble my way through a 90 min session of Soccer. All though dealing with the teachers is terrible the children at the camp for the most part are a joy. I seem to have become quite the main attraction. If fact Jackie and Heidi were amazed at how many of the boys from 10 to 16 all want to play Soccer with me. I am not sure if it is because they like me or if I am like the court jester of soccer. In fact one of the days this week when we all went to the camp there were about 25 boys who all came out to the field to play soccer with me. It took a good 30 min to organize a game as they all surrounded me tyring to get me to pick teams. There are two fields and I kept getting pulled from field to field by those that wanted me to play with them. Finally we got a game started. I am getting better but then again I don't think I could get any worse. The field is all dirt and within seconds becomes a dust bowl. After about 15 min of play my mouth feels like a beach, about 45 min into the game I need a water hose and mouth to mouth resuscitation. Luckily there is this goalie position. That's my favorite, besides its the only one that makes any sense to me because you can use your hands.
About half way through the game Vlady came out and seemed all better. I did find out that he was punished but I have yet to figure out why?
When I said most of the kids are a joy I meant that there are a few bad apples in the bunch. Yesterday we ran into one of them. He was about 15 blond hair, devious looking and had a horrible home made tattoo on his arm of a skull. He was hanging around when we were first trying to get the soccer game going. He kept staring at us and say things with a smirk on his face. Of course the only thing we could understand was the word "Americans". all though we could Tell it was not pleasant by his body language, they way he and his two cronies laughed after everything he said and the way Iliah reacted. At one point hhe kept calling Iliah over and showing him this shank, knife looking weapon he had. He was very proud of this make shift weapon that you put in your fist and the blade came out between the knuckles. He was pretending to stab everyone around him with it. He called Iliah over to ask him something and showed him the weapon. Iliah shook his head "no". Right after that the Over sized Dennis the Menace came over to me showing me his weapon. I was not sure the point other then for him to look really cool. That and the skull tattoo on his arm that a two year old did. He continued to say things then laugh with his buddies and smirk at me. Finally I thought two can play this game. I may not know Russian but this punk didn't know English. So when he put the weapon in his pocket I told him " If you keep that thing in your pocket your going to stab yourself in the deek!" Heidi right on cue burst into a roaring laugh. I repeated the statement again and all three of us rolled with laughter. This did not sit well with the over sized Dennis the Menace. I think he got the picture loud and clear that we were laughing at him. He and his buddies went off in a hurry.
Okay Okay it was a little childish but it felt good and it was effective at getting rid of him.
Well there are a lot more things about the camp. More than I can write about...
Iliah did my favorite thing a a few days ago at the camp.
about a week prior while on the beach I was trying to tell him that we would have court dates and that we would be going home to America in 3 weeks of course this is when I thought we would have had a quicker court date. It was difficult to communicate and I wasn't sure if he understood.
As I was leaving the camp and waiting for the taxi. Iliah gave me a huge hug, looked up and said with a big grin " 15 days I go to America!" It was awesome! He understood me alright and he is just counting down the days. I didn't have the heart to tell him it would be longer but then again who knows maybe the judge will surprise us on Wed.
That is good for future adoptive parents but for us for now here we are WAITING! I feel like we are in a plane circling the airport but never landing. Well We should see Victor today or tomorrow and I am looking forward to having him around Iliah so we can ask him some more in depth questions or maybe Iliah can ask us some.
Lately we have been going to the camp at 4pm everyday instead of the beach. We are more likely to catch the kids there in the afternoon plus my body can't handle anymore of the beach. I feel like my skin is about to split open into gaping wounds. Between the piercing sun, Salt and the Full body exfoliation you get as the sand whips against your skin, I've had enough. I don't even like the beach. I would rather camp or vacation in the mountains.
I have started to look forward to the camp. Although it started off weird a few days a go. Heidi and Jackie decided to stay at the apartment while i went to the camp. When I got there I went to the wash house where I have found Iliah and Vlady in the past. This time Vanya a tall thin gawky kid about Vladys age that has been hanging out with us found me. I asked him where Iliah and Vlady were. He took me in to this Building where Leza was watching TV with Friends and Vlady was kneeling on the floor wit his should pressed against the wall. Like it was some sort of time out. He looked as if he had been crying so I asked him if he was ok. He burst into tears and hide his face from me. I asked Leza what was wrong, I'm not sure if she didn't understand me or if she didn't care. I asked her where Ilah was and she took me over to his cabin where he was with his teacher. Iliah was all dressed up, I don't know where he got the clothes but He was wearing Cream colored linen dress pants and a white form fitting the sweater. He looked like he was ready for church. The whole clothing thing is odd at the Camp. They usually wear the same clothes for about 4 days then they wash their clothes and hang them up to dry. After that its a free for all, all the kids share clothes and it seems that it is on a first come first serve basis. There are only two things that have seem consistent with Iliah clothing( the speedo he wears to swim and this Blue pull over hooded shirt that has an American flag on it).
When we found Iliah I had to ask his teacher if he could walk around the camp with me. Let me tell you about the teachers I have met. They make it perfectly clear that they don't like me, everyday I have to go ask there permission for my Son to spend time with me. We've been here a month for Pete's sake I am there the same time everyday yet they continue to make me go through the process of asking their permission. It is so irritating to be under the control of a troglodyte with nothing better to do then make it difficult to spend time with my son. Even though I would love to take the teacher out in the water and hold them under til they begged me to stop I can't because the reality is I need them, for now! I keep telling myself I get to go home and they will be stuck here forever! Both of Iliah's teachers are men in there early 20's. They are extremely rough with the kids when they are out of line and they look at us as if we are a trespassing disease. I am sure that there are some teachers who are not like this, I just haven't met any at the camp. Also I can't seem to forget what Victor said. He said that many of the teachers tell the children that Americans will take them home and chop them up into pieces or do other terrible things to them if they get adopted. I guess Victor has dealt with this many times. He said the teachers do it because of job security. The less children in the orphanages the less money they get. Doesn't that just make you want to go crazy!?!
Well after I went through the disgusting privilege of talking to his teacher I told Iliah that Vlady was crying so we went to find him. By this time he had left the building I originally found him. We found him in the wash house in the corner crying. Iliah tried to ask him what was wrong but he covered his face and ran away from us. We followed him into his cabin. Wow the cabin, Holy Cow what a stench. This was a tiny one room cabin with about 10 dwarfs beds all side by side. No wonder the kids don't spend a lot of time in their cabins.
After following Vlady and still having no success we went to the Soccer field. This is what I come to the camp for. My daily dose of humble pie as I stumble my way through a 90 min session of Soccer. All though dealing with the teachers is terrible the children at the camp for the most part are a joy. I seem to have become quite the main attraction. If fact Jackie and Heidi were amazed at how many of the boys from 10 to 16 all want to play Soccer with me. I am not sure if it is because they like me or if I am like the court jester of soccer. In fact one of the days this week when we all went to the camp there were about 25 boys who all came out to the field to play soccer with me. It took a good 30 min to organize a game as they all surrounded me tyring to get me to pick teams. There are two fields and I kept getting pulled from field to field by those that wanted me to play with them. Finally we got a game started. I am getting better but then again I don't think I could get any worse. The field is all dirt and within seconds becomes a dust bowl. After about 15 min of play my mouth feels like a beach, about 45 min into the game I need a water hose and mouth to mouth resuscitation. Luckily there is this goalie position. That's my favorite, besides its the only one that makes any sense to me because you can use your hands.
About half way through the game Vlady came out and seemed all better. I did find out that he was punished but I have yet to figure out why?
When I said most of the kids are a joy I meant that there are a few bad apples in the bunch. Yesterday we ran into one of them. He was about 15 blond hair, devious looking and had a horrible home made tattoo on his arm of a skull. He was hanging around when we were first trying to get the soccer game going. He kept staring at us and say things with a smirk on his face. Of course the only thing we could understand was the word "Americans". all though we could Tell it was not pleasant by his body language, they way he and his two cronies laughed after everything he said and the way Iliah reacted. At one point hhe kept calling Iliah over and showing him this shank, knife looking weapon he had. He was very proud of this make shift weapon that you put in your fist and the blade came out between the knuckles. He was pretending to stab everyone around him with it. He called Iliah over to ask him something and showed him the weapon. Iliah shook his head "no". Right after that the Over sized Dennis the Menace came over to me showing me his weapon. I was not sure the point other then for him to look really cool. That and the skull tattoo on his arm that a two year old did. He continued to say things then laugh with his buddies and smirk at me. Finally I thought two can play this game. I may not know Russian but this punk didn't know English. So when he put the weapon in his pocket I told him " If you keep that thing in your pocket your going to stab yourself in the deek!" Heidi right on cue burst into a roaring laugh. I repeated the statement again and all three of us rolled with laughter. This did not sit well with the over sized Dennis the Menace. I think he got the picture loud and clear that we were laughing at him. He and his buddies went off in a hurry.
Okay Okay it was a little childish but it felt good and it was effective at getting rid of him.
Well there are a lot more things about the camp. More than I can write about...
Iliah did my favorite thing a a few days ago at the camp.
about a week prior while on the beach I was trying to tell him that we would have court dates and that we would be going home to America in 3 weeks of course this is when I thought we would have had a quicker court date. It was difficult to communicate and I wasn't sure if he understood.
As I was leaving the camp and waiting for the taxi. Iliah gave me a huge hug, looked up and said with a big grin " 15 days I go to America!" It was awesome! He understood me alright and he is just counting down the days. I didn't have the heart to tell him it would be longer but then again who knows maybe the judge will surprise us on Wed.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Part 22 My Beuatiful Wife/ AKA Super Prego!
Well the long awaited special post is here. I'm not sure if I can live up to the hype since this is a week in waiting.
I wanted to use this Blog to acknowledge the strongest woman I know.
Tomorrow marks Heidi being 5 months pregnant or 20 weeks. While most couples would be giddy with excitement over the fact that they could find out the sex of the baby during the 2o week sonogram here we sit in "Paradise". By the time Heidi gets home the baby will probably be too big and have its butt facing out so we can't see.
While other expectant mothers would be spending their days shopping for the baby and preparing the nest, Heidi is in Ukraine.
While others are trying to be as comfortable as possible, Heidi is in the most uncomfortable place she could be.
While others are baby proofing and staying away from danger, Heidi is in a place where safety is a real concern.
Almost everyone we have encountered has been extremely surprised that Heidi would come over here while being pregnant, Not only does it reveal her strength but also her astounding resolve and love for Iliah.
Through all the trials, Walking, Filth, danger and heat Heidi has taken it in stride. Our time here would make anyone complain and want to go home. Even though I know Heidi would love to be in our new home she didn't flinch when Victor said she would have to be here until the end of the month.
I must admit I didn't realize how strong Heidi was until this trip. Strong willed and stubborn yes but not the strength of Heart and resolve she has shown.
It is one thing to be Pregnant in Ukraine but in addition this is probably the most stressful time in our lives.
A Move away from friends and family
A new house, we have yet to move into
A new job, I was away from Heidi 6 weeks before this Ukraine trip
An adoption
Our Renter in Ohio hasn't paid since May, they are finally out of the house
Children to get registered for school, it starts on the 23rd
financial sink hole, caused by all the above
Oh yeah and baby Berlin on the way!
I tend to worry about everything and with the above it makes it even worse. Heidi is always there to put things in perspective and be the voice of reason saying it will all work out I trust you. I don't know what is more impactful the fact that my pregnant wife is the calm one or if it is the trust and faith she has in me to lead our family through this stressful time.
It has always been her faith and trust in me that has motivated me. Ever since June of 2006 my reason for being successful and working hard changed. Every time I faced a challenge at work she is always there to encourage me, when I wanted to be a GM by 30 it was Heidi that told me over and over that I could do it.
We have only been married since June of 2006 but if we were to calculate of length of marriage in life changing events then we would be an old married couple. Through all these changes Heidi has been supportive and trusting in me.
Life events since Being Married:
Move from Pa to Ohio
Major Car Accident 1 month after Marriage
Heidi temporarily Paralyzed, Broke two neck bones Had neck surgery.
Adopted a dog
Moved from apartment to a house we bought
Started trying to have a baby
Moved from OH to Alabama for work
I adopted London
London had Surgery
Started Fertility procedures
Heidi had Surgery
Got another dog
Moved from AL to VA
I had back surgery
Heidi had another Surgery
London had another Surgery
I had a car accident only Minor injuries
Hosted Iliah
Decided to Adopt Iliah
Heidi gets Pregnant
Moving from Va to Texas
Bought House
To recap that's:
5 Moves
6 Surgeries
2 Car Accidents
2 Dogs
2 Houses
2 Adoptions
1 baby
and a partridge in a pear tree.
How about that for 4 years of Marriage. I don't know many women who could or would keep up with that.
When we moved to Williamsburg Heidi was fed up with moving, starting new jobs and leaving friends so she made it clear that she did not want to move ever again. So this spring when I told her I felt it was time to move for my career and our family it was not well received. All the challenges, all the difficulties of the previous 4 moves did not make Heidi interested at all in moving. In addition we had developed closer friendships in Williamsburg then we had in any other place. Heidi couldn't bear the thought of moving. I told her that no matter what promotion I was offered I wouldn't take it if she wasn't on board. Besides, after all the trust she had given me it was my turn to trust that she would help me make the best decision for our family. Two weeks later we were on a date night when Heidi said she was ready to move and that she felt it was the best thing for our family.
This move meant more to me than any of the previous because I knew it was such a sacrifice for her. She was leaving best friends a church she loved and the best place she had ever worked.
Heidi Selfless Love:
There is an example of Heidi's selfless love that I will never forget.
When we got married London was 7 and Heidi had been a single Mom all those years. When we got married I immediately stepped in to London's life like I had always been there. Not only loving her like the child I always had but also disciplining, punishing when necessary and making parental decisions. Never once in our entire marriage has Heidi ever said, acted or treated me as if I did not have the right to do this. I have always been amazed by the respect and trust she has shown me in this area. I don't know if I could be that unselfish if the tables were reversed. I couldn't imagine being a single parent for 7 years having all of the power of parental decisions and guidance only to share them fully with someone you only knew for a matter of months. Over these 4 years I have been witness to many mixed families and so often the birth parent prevents their spouse from having equal say in the parenting decisions. This display of selfless love by Heidi is the reason we have never felt like a mixed family. We only dated 3 weeks and were married with in 2 months of our first date. There had to be times when Heidi thought hey that's my daughter not yours but never, never was I made to feel that way. That's the love of a good woman!
So to My Beautiful Wife/ AKA Super Prego I say thank you!
Thank you for your Love, your Trust and Respect!
Thank you for being right by my side during these crazy 4 years!
Thank you for being my biggest fan, my greatest supporter and my motivation!
When I proposed I promised to Love you, to be the best Husband and father I could be, and most of all for our lives not to be boring! :-)
Well the first too will always be a work in progress but I think we can officially check off the third.
I look forward to the next 4 BORING years with my beautiful wife.
I wanted to use this Blog to acknowledge the strongest woman I know.
Tomorrow marks Heidi being 5 months pregnant or 20 weeks. While most couples would be giddy with excitement over the fact that they could find out the sex of the baby during the 2o week sonogram here we sit in "Paradise". By the time Heidi gets home the baby will probably be too big and have its butt facing out so we can't see.
While other expectant mothers would be spending their days shopping for the baby and preparing the nest, Heidi is in Ukraine.
While others are trying to be as comfortable as possible, Heidi is in the most uncomfortable place she could be.
While others are baby proofing and staying away from danger, Heidi is in a place where safety is a real concern.
Almost everyone we have encountered has been extremely surprised that Heidi would come over here while being pregnant, Not only does it reveal her strength but also her astounding resolve and love for Iliah.
Through all the trials, Walking, Filth, danger and heat Heidi has taken it in stride. Our time here would make anyone complain and want to go home. Even though I know Heidi would love to be in our new home she didn't flinch when Victor said she would have to be here until the end of the month.
I must admit I didn't realize how strong Heidi was until this trip. Strong willed and stubborn yes but not the strength of Heart and resolve she has shown.
It is one thing to be Pregnant in Ukraine but in addition this is probably the most stressful time in our lives.
A Move away from friends and family
A new house, we have yet to move into
A new job, I was away from Heidi 6 weeks before this Ukraine trip
An adoption
Our Renter in Ohio hasn't paid since May, they are finally out of the house
Children to get registered for school, it starts on the 23rd
financial sink hole, caused by all the above
Oh yeah and baby Berlin on the way!
I tend to worry about everything and with the above it makes it even worse. Heidi is always there to put things in perspective and be the voice of reason saying it will all work out I trust you. I don't know what is more impactful the fact that my pregnant wife is the calm one or if it is the trust and faith she has in me to lead our family through this stressful time.
It has always been her faith and trust in me that has motivated me. Ever since June of 2006 my reason for being successful and working hard changed. Every time I faced a challenge at work she is always there to encourage me, when I wanted to be a GM by 30 it was Heidi that told me over and over that I could do it.
We have only been married since June of 2006 but if we were to calculate of length of marriage in life changing events then we would be an old married couple. Through all these changes Heidi has been supportive and trusting in me.
Life events since Being Married:
Move from Pa to Ohio
Major Car Accident 1 month after Marriage
Heidi temporarily Paralyzed, Broke two neck bones Had neck surgery.
Adopted a dog
Moved from apartment to a house we bought
Started trying to have a baby
Moved from OH to Alabama for work
I adopted London
London had Surgery
Started Fertility procedures
Heidi had Surgery
Got another dog
Moved from AL to VA
I had back surgery
Heidi had another Surgery
London had another Surgery
I had a car accident only Minor injuries
Hosted Iliah
Decided to Adopt Iliah
Heidi gets Pregnant
Moving from Va to Texas
Bought House
To recap that's:
5 Moves
6 Surgeries
2 Car Accidents
2 Dogs
2 Houses
2 Adoptions
1 baby
and a partridge in a pear tree.
How about that for 4 years of Marriage. I don't know many women who could or would keep up with that.
When we moved to Williamsburg Heidi was fed up with moving, starting new jobs and leaving friends so she made it clear that she did not want to move ever again. So this spring when I told her I felt it was time to move for my career and our family it was not well received. All the challenges, all the difficulties of the previous 4 moves did not make Heidi interested at all in moving. In addition we had developed closer friendships in Williamsburg then we had in any other place. Heidi couldn't bear the thought of moving. I told her that no matter what promotion I was offered I wouldn't take it if she wasn't on board. Besides, after all the trust she had given me it was my turn to trust that she would help me make the best decision for our family. Two weeks later we were on a date night when Heidi said she was ready to move and that she felt it was the best thing for our family.
This move meant more to me than any of the previous because I knew it was such a sacrifice for her. She was leaving best friends a church she loved and the best place she had ever worked.
Heidi Selfless Love:
There is an example of Heidi's selfless love that I will never forget.
When we got married London was 7 and Heidi had been a single Mom all those years. When we got married I immediately stepped in to London's life like I had always been there. Not only loving her like the child I always had but also disciplining, punishing when necessary and making parental decisions. Never once in our entire marriage has Heidi ever said, acted or treated me as if I did not have the right to do this. I have always been amazed by the respect and trust she has shown me in this area. I don't know if I could be that unselfish if the tables were reversed. I couldn't imagine being a single parent for 7 years having all of the power of parental decisions and guidance only to share them fully with someone you only knew for a matter of months. Over these 4 years I have been witness to many mixed families and so often the birth parent prevents their spouse from having equal say in the parenting decisions. This display of selfless love by Heidi is the reason we have never felt like a mixed family. We only dated 3 weeks and were married with in 2 months of our first date. There had to be times when Heidi thought hey that's my daughter not yours but never, never was I made to feel that way. That's the love of a good woman!
So to My Beautiful Wife/ AKA Super Prego I say thank you!
Thank you for your Love, your Trust and Respect!
Thank you for being right by my side during these crazy 4 years!
Thank you for being my biggest fan, my greatest supporter and my motivation!
When I proposed I promised to Love you, to be the best Husband and father I could be, and most of all for our lives not to be boring! :-)
Well the first too will always be a work in progress but I think we can officially check off the third.
I look forward to the next 4 BORING years with my beautiful wife.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Part 21 Life on a Deserted Island
Well its day 25 in the Ukraine. Life is pretty routine here now that we are alone. We go to the beach once a day to see Iliah. Going twice was a bit much plus we are cutting costs. We have been cooking our meals at home, well Heidi has been cooking. Its great to have a home cooked meal and not have to struggle through a non English menu and a non English speaking server.
Heidi has done a great job with the food even with our limited pantry. We go to the grocery store almost everyday but only get a few things. Its hard to figure out what things are when you can't read the packages. And if there is no pictures forget it. I was trying to figure out if something was sugar or salt. In the end I had to rip open a corner of the bag and taste it. I thought for sure the KGB or whatever they have here was going to arrest me but luckily they had their eyes on the milk section instead. OK bad Joke!
Everything in the store is like that, Try to find milk or even better 2% milk. Another thing we take for granted is reading the directions. Not gonna happen!
The Dipiazzos gave us their DVD player so we can now watch American DVDs! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
So a recap we go to the beach @ 10am we come home at noon.
We have lunch
We then walk to the store
We come back read, nap or fuss around the apartment
Then we eat dinner
Talk on Skype
then watch a movie
Then Bed.
I know you are extremely envious of our exciting non stop Rock Star lives. Its ok all this can be yours for the bargain price of .... $26,000!!! yeah! Woohoo!
Our highlight for the day is seeing Iliah on the beach. Most days we get a small army of children but some days we have just Iliah. Those are our the best days.
I titled this blog life on a Deserted Island because now that the Dipiazzos are gone that's what it feels like.
Sure we see people but we can't talk to them or at least communicate. We are surrounded by people but yet all alone. We stick to ourselves, Life is routine and solitary. If only I had a volleyball so I could call it Wilson. Well I guess the soccer ball will have to do.
Oh on a personal note I am feeling better. I would say I am 80% Still not ready for soccer matches with the kids but getting there. Also I have a flight home on the 13th. I may have to come back for the second court date but there are so many things that need taken care of back home.
Heidi has done a great job with the food even with our limited pantry. We go to the grocery store almost everyday but only get a few things. Its hard to figure out what things are when you can't read the packages. And if there is no pictures forget it. I was trying to figure out if something was sugar or salt. In the end I had to rip open a corner of the bag and taste it. I thought for sure the KGB or whatever they have here was going to arrest me but luckily they had their eyes on the milk section instead. OK bad Joke!
Everything in the store is like that, Try to find milk or even better 2% milk. Another thing we take for granted is reading the directions. Not gonna happen!
The Dipiazzos gave us their DVD player so we can now watch American DVDs! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
So a recap we go to the beach @ 10am we come home at noon.
We have lunch
We then walk to the store
We come back read, nap or fuss around the apartment
Then we eat dinner
Talk on Skype
then watch a movie
Then Bed.
I know you are extremely envious of our exciting non stop Rock Star lives. Its ok all this can be yours for the bargain price of .... $26,000!!! yeah! Woohoo!
Our highlight for the day is seeing Iliah on the beach. Most days we get a small army of children but some days we have just Iliah. Those are our the best days.
I titled this blog life on a Deserted Island because now that the Dipiazzos are gone that's what it feels like.
Sure we see people but we can't talk to them or at least communicate. We are surrounded by people but yet all alone. We stick to ourselves, Life is routine and solitary. If only I had a volleyball so I could call it Wilson. Well I guess the soccer ball will have to do.
Oh on a personal note I am feeling better. I would say I am 80% Still not ready for soccer matches with the kids but getting there. Also I have a flight home on the 13th. I may have to come back for the second court date but there are so many things that need taken care of back home.
Part 20 Goodbye to Friends
So on Saturday we moved into the Church, it is as close to america as we have seen in 4 weeks. By the way it has been 3 1/2 weeks and it feels like 3 months!
So on top of the joy of being in the apartment that we had been anticipating for weeks we also were right next door to the Dipiazzos. The other American family adopting. We have been spending time at the beach and camp together and going to dinner everyday but there was something even better to have them as neighbors.
The bad news was that they only had a few days left before they went home. They were leaving Tuesday.
To be honest we were never friends with the Dipiazzos back home in Williamsburg. We saw each other at church but our lives rarely crossed paths outside of those four walls. Yet in a short time I feel we have had the opportunity to know them better in some respect then we would have if we were friends all along. All though they are gone now we will forever be tied to each other through this experience and I hope we always stay in touch.
We had front row seats to the bitter sweet departure for the dipiazzos. They were of course estatic to go home but they also had formed close bonds with children other then Dima the one they were adopting. Saying goodbye to Sasha was particularly hard for the Dipiazzos and Dima. They had been here 6 weeks and everyday and every moment they spent with Dima they spent with Sasha as well. Watching the difficult farewell could only remind us of the reality that we too would have to say our goodbyes to Iliahs Siblings.
On Tuesday the dipiazzos left for Zaporishia@ 5:30am that night they took the train to Kiev. By now they are finished with there paperwork and are just counting the days to flying home. We are so happy for them although envious.
We got to talk to them last night and it was nice to hear about what they had been through over the past few days since we too will have the same path. Also it was surprising to hear about the additional $2,500 in expenses that they had, some of which we knew about but other things were a surprise. I guess the Hemoraging of cash won't stop until we hit american soil.
I tallied our expenses for this adoption yesterday. YTD we are up $21,400, Ouch! These are the adoption expenses since Jan 5th 2010.
Looks like we will be close to $26,000 when its all said and done.
When adoptive parents we know said it will cost more than you think they weren't kidding.
So on top of the joy of being in the apartment that we had been anticipating for weeks we also were right next door to the Dipiazzos. The other American family adopting. We have been spending time at the beach and camp together and going to dinner everyday but there was something even better to have them as neighbors.
The bad news was that they only had a few days left before they went home. They were leaving Tuesday.
To be honest we were never friends with the Dipiazzos back home in Williamsburg. We saw each other at church but our lives rarely crossed paths outside of those four walls. Yet in a short time I feel we have had the opportunity to know them better in some respect then we would have if we were friends all along. All though they are gone now we will forever be tied to each other through this experience and I hope we always stay in touch.
We had front row seats to the bitter sweet departure for the dipiazzos. They were of course estatic to go home but they also had formed close bonds with children other then Dima the one they were adopting. Saying goodbye to Sasha was particularly hard for the Dipiazzos and Dima. They had been here 6 weeks and everyday and every moment they spent with Dima they spent with Sasha as well. Watching the difficult farewell could only remind us of the reality that we too would have to say our goodbyes to Iliahs Siblings.
On Tuesday the dipiazzos left for Zaporishia@ 5:30am that night they took the train to Kiev. By now they are finished with there paperwork and are just counting the days to flying home. We are so happy for them although envious.
We got to talk to them last night and it was nice to hear about what they had been through over the past few days since we too will have the same path. Also it was surprising to hear about the additional $2,500 in expenses that they had, some of which we knew about but other things were a surprise. I guess the Hemoraging of cash won't stop until we hit american soil.
I tallied our expenses for this adoption yesterday. YTD we are up $21,400, Ouch! These are the adoption expenses since Jan 5th 2010.
Looks like we will be close to $26,000 when its all said and done.
When adoptive parents we know said it will cost more than you think they weren't kidding.
Part 19 The Adventure
Well it has almost been a week since my last blog and since I promised a special blog. For those faithful readers I apologize, I have good news and bad. The good is I am blogging again the bad is there is still a delay on the special blog. I am waiting for some pics that will go with the special blog but I have had a hard time obtaining them.
When we left off it was our last night in the Hotel. 10 days in a clean yes but cramped hotel room with 3 smerf beds was plenty, plus we were spending a lot of money per day to be there.
I have attached some pics to this blog of the exterior of the Hotel. The Hotel experience was more Military than hotel. As you can see from the pics the hotel was gated in with a watch tower. Yes with 24 hour a day security that wore camo, no machine guns that I saw. There was no front entrance to the hotel even to check in. When we checked in 10 days ago we had to go around the back, go in a door that looked like an entrance and find someone. When we went in the door it was dark and vacant so we went to the second floor, also dark and vacant. We found someone down the hall she was curt and extremely unpleasant but was the only person there and she was able to check us in. She showed us a room gave me a list of rules then took my money.
I was so impressed with the level of service and the arrival experience that I have plans to duplicate it at the Marriott. LOL! Although you had to admire the efficiency and cost control. There was never any lights on, You only got service every once in a while, your sheets were only wash once a week and there was never more than one person working.
Now that's a productivity index!
The woman that checked us in turned out to be delightful after we had been there a couple of days. In addition We meet a new friend. We never did name him but he was a sweet stray dog that we fed everyday.
Well it was goodbye to the Hotel and hello to the church apartment that we had been waiting for!
When we left off it was our last night in the Hotel. 10 days in a clean yes but cramped hotel room with 3 smerf beds was plenty, plus we were spending a lot of money per day to be there.
I have attached some pics to this blog of the exterior of the Hotel. The Hotel experience was more Military than hotel. As you can see from the pics the hotel was gated in with a watch tower. Yes with 24 hour a day security that wore camo, no machine guns that I saw. There was no front entrance to the hotel even to check in. When we checked in 10 days ago we had to go around the back, go in a door that looked like an entrance and find someone. When we went in the door it was dark and vacant so we went to the second floor, also dark and vacant. We found someone down the hall she was curt and extremely unpleasant but was the only person there and she was able to check us in. She showed us a room gave me a list of rules then took my money.
I was so impressed with the level of service and the arrival experience that I have plans to duplicate it at the Marriott. LOL! Although you had to admire the efficiency and cost control. There was never any lights on, You only got service every once in a while, your sheets were only wash once a week and there was never more than one person working.
Now that's a productivity index!
The woman that checked us in turned out to be delightful after we had been there a couple of days. In addition We meet a new friend. We never did name him but he was a sweet stray dog that we fed everyday.
Well it was goodbye to the Hotel and hello to the church apartment that we had been waiting for!
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