Part 29 Our story is almost complete

Its been one month since Heidi and Illiah came home. One month with our new family has seemed like days. Everyone is doing great some small bumps here and there and then one big baby bump for baby Berlin. By the way its a Girl!

London and Illiah act as if they have been brother and sister for ever. I'm not sure why I am surprised since they have always been siblings in God's grand design. Seeing them together reassures us everyday that we have made the right decision.

They play and pick on each other like true siblings.

Illiah loves school, although we are not sure how much he has learned in the first month he still loves it. He has never seen anything like the schools here. over 500 children per grade.

Things that are different:

Lots of noise, having two children is way ore noisy then one girl, plus Illiah has seemed to raise the volume level of our daughter as well.

Two set of Activities, Heidi is taxi extraordinaire taking London to swimming and Illiah to Soccer.

Food Lots and Lots of Food. I never thought a 75lb kid could eat so much. he is like one of those Chinese hot dog eaters!

Things that are Sad:
Over the past couple of days Illiah has been crying for what seems to be no reason. We will look over at him and he will have a couple of tears rolling down his face. We ask him what is wrong but he says nothing. We ask him if he likes it here and he says yes. We tell him that we love him and he cries more. Although everyday he understand and is able to communicate more we are still along way off from understanding all of his feelings. Hopefully we can fully communicate before he hits the pre teen stage where he doesn't want to communicate with his parents!!!!
After one of his tearful events today I sat him down and told him that we loved him. I asked him if he understood and he said yes. I asked how you said love in Ukraine and he said Le Bleu I am sure I am miss spelling it.

It must be the overwhelming changes are finally catching up to him. He must feel so Isolated with not being able to communicate freely.

Things that are sweet:

Every moment with my new family. The new experiences, the love, affection and yes even the growing pains.

By the end of the year Illiah should be communicating with ease. Just in time to have another child in the house who can communicate its needs and seems to cry for no reason.

For all of you who prayed for us, gave us support or who just took an interest in our story thank you and God Bless!

Part 28 God Bless America

It has been a couple of weeks since my last blog. It has been crazy since I got back to the states and the blog is not Heidi's thing.

It took me three days to get home but when I finally arrived in Dallas I wanted to roll around on the ground and kiss the dirty tile floor of the Airport. Just like Kevin Costner in Robin Hood. "Home At Last"

Being back on American soil was one thing but when I arrived at my hotel my Father in law and Daughter were waiting for me. She was so beautiful and excited to see me. Even the worst Jet lag ever couldn't keep me from giving her a huge hug, After all it had been three months since I had seen her. 6 weeks in Dallas prior to Ukraine and then 6 weeks in Ukraine. I said a couple of quick hello's at the hotel and then it was off to the house. The last time I saw the house it was an empty shell but now it was filled with all of our belongings even Hewy and Lewis were there to greet me. It was wonderful to see them although they probably only thought I was gone an hour since they react the same way every time you come home. You know running around like a crazy animal, sniffing, snorting, drooling and ready to pee at the slightest petting.
The house looked amazing, we left living in VA and returned to TX like the moving fairies just went "poof" all done. Only the moving fairies were my daughter and father in-law who had worked to exhaustion for weeks to move our stuff and make the new place feel like home.
If I had to describe being home in one word it would be overwhelming, Yes there is lots to do at home and at work but that is not what i mean. The blessings, luxury and convenience that we enjoy as Americans is overwhelming. Simple things like shopping at a grocery store and it not taking 20 min to figure out which can is tuna and which of those is in water not oil. Driving in a nice car down a nice 6 lane highway. I don't think there is a 6 lane highway anywhere in Ukraine and certainly not a nice one. Believe it or not I was excited to see road construction the fact that our country has the money to fix our roads is wonderful. I could spend pages listing the overwhelming feeling of being home but lets just make it easy and say EVERYTHING!

So While Heidi and Jackie waited out the 10 days I was trying register London for school. Registering London took 3 days but finally we did it. She loves her new school. Jae stayed for a week and drove back to PA on Thursday. By Thursday I was a single parent with my better half stuck in the Ukraine. By Thursday Heidi was going nuts, a whole week of waiting in Ukraine will do that to anyone, plus she was not feeling well. since the children had left Berdyansk to return to the Orphanage in Zaporishia Heidi and Jackie decided to head for Zaporishia themselves. Not only would they be able to see the kids again but a missions team from our church was also at the Orphanage. What a relief it has been over the last few days for Heidi and Jackie to see friends. In addition there are multiple translators so it has been easier for Iliah to communicate. He has taken to Heidi again, he waits for her everyday and is glued to her side. He also is excited about the baby, asking all kinds of questions and rubbing Heidi's belly. He is convinced its a Boy. He parades Heidi around the Orphanage introducing everyone to his Mama.
Multiple teachers have commented on his new found confidence and how protective he is of Heidi. Everyday he tells her how many days he has to go home to America.
Tonight is Iliahs last night in the Orphanage. I wonder what he is thinking. Is it bitter sweet? or is it like the night before Christmas? Will he be able to sleep at all? Is he nervous?
I can't wait for the day Iliah can tell us what this whole experience was like for him. Tomorrow Hedi, Victor and Jackie go to Iliahs home town to get his new Birth Certificate then they go to the Orphanage to sign him out for good!!!!!!!! They get his passport, get a few things notarized and then on the train for Kiev.
..... Meanwhile back in the US of A I continue as a single parent. To all those single parents out there you have my prayers and respect. I have no idea how you do it. It gives me a new respect for Heidi who did it for 7 years. although the single parenting is difficult the one on one time with London is great. Its like a 10 day Daddy Daughter date!
I must admit I miss Heidi terribly and can not wait for them to be home. Only a matter of days til my whole family is together. Hallelujah!

the Update

I am posting this from my blackberry. Illiah is officially ours the court ruled today.so everything is on schedule for them to come home on Sept 3rd
I get on the train tonight

Part 26 We can see the Finish Line

Hopes are high here in Ukraine. After the completion of our first court date we finally had a timeline to the End. No more waiting around without a plan or schedule. There are a few variables but they are so minor that they should not change the homecoming of Illiah.
Today Victor arrives in Berdyansk, he will be arriving around 6pm. We are excited to see him and to talk through all the details for the remainder of our trip.

Tomorrow is our Final court date. 10am in Zaporishia so we will have to get picked up @ 5:15am. The Director changed her mind and decided to come to the second court date. I am not sure why when she is still on vacation. She could have sent anyone from the Orphanage. Both Victor and I are nervous about the Director being involved after the last episode. I can only hope we do not have a repeat. We will pick her up @ 5:30 am then go to pick up Illiah. I pray she will be ready and not delay our arrival.

The last court hearing was only 30 min. This one is scheduled to be a couple of hours as the Judge reads through all the documents. Anything can happen here but there are no red flags at this point that would make us think the court should not go according to plan. By the end of tomorrow the Judge will officially declare Illiah as our son and approve the issuance of a new birth certificate. Then we Part ways...

I get on the Train with Victor and head for Kiev. After the overnight train ride we go to the Embassy to file all the paperwork for Illiah's Visa and Passport. Then @ 1:30 I fly to London. I have to spend the night in London as it was the only reasonable airfare available. Side note: anyone considering international adoption should look at using Golden Rule Travel they are a non profit travel agency that specializes in Missions trips and Adoptions. They have been able to find me flights at 50% of what I was able to find.

Friday Morning I leave London and will land in Dallas @ 3:40pm. "God Bless America"

Meanwhile Heidi, Jackie and Illiah will head back to Berdyansk where they will wait out the 10 day waiting period, Actually it will be more like 12 since the 10 days falls on a Sat and the courts are not open on Sat, Sun or Mon.

On August 25th Illiah leaves Berdyansk and heads back to the Orphanage in Zaporishia (the summer camp is over). On August 31st Heidi and Jackie will go to Illiahs home town with Victor to get Illiahs new birth certificate. Then head to Zaporishia to meet with the Director and sign him out of the orphanage. At this point Illiah is ours and never returns to the Orphanage. They will then get on the train for Kiev. There are a couple of days worth of Paperwork to finalize in Kiev but Friday morning the 3rd of September they should board a plane, connect in Frankfurt and then home to Dallas.

Then the trumpets sound, the crowd cheers and the fireworks explode as the Berlins are finally together again. It helps to make the time go faster when you know there is an end in sight.

We just got back from the beach, My last time to deal with the unpleasantness of the beach but also my last time to wrestle, play catch and throw Illiah and his brother around. For a moment I am sad but then the next time I see Illiah he will be our son and on American soil.
Tonight I will go to the Camp for the last time and play Soccer with all the kids. The camp has been interesting as of late, I have been going by myself because when Jackie and Heidi go they get surrounded and some of the boys get out of hand and say some inappropriate things. There are many wonderful kids at the camp but there are also the bad eggs. We have seen two fights in the last week both of which Illiah stepped in to break up. It is a hard life for these kids and there is certainly a pecking order. Illiah is boisterous and bossy when he is with his peers but when the older kids are around he is very quiet. He seems to be pretty street smart as to what conflict should be avoided.

After spending almost 6 weeks with Illiah it is interesting to see how a child that is not your flesh and blood can share so many similarities, London has certainly shown me this as well over the years. For starters I bite my nails(I know bad habit) Illiah also bites his nails. I don't like the carbonation in bottled sodas so I shake them up to reduce the gas, Illiah does the same thing with every soda. Even though Illiah is in a dirty Summer camp he is always the cleanest kid at the camp, He also does not like germs. Every time he shares a beverage with another kid he wipes off the lip of the bottle just like Heidi would do. Of course he is strong willed and super competitive which is nothing like his Mom and Dad Ha Ha. He is a leader among his peers, out spoken and opinionated. In fact I was pretty sure before but now I am positive he is definately a Berlin!!
He also share something with London. Illiah has great discernment when it comes to selecting friends. There are not a lot of people that Illiah likes at the camp and many of them he says they are bad. all of the kids Illiah hangs around with are sweet and kind. London has always done a great job of selecting friends to the point of ending friendships if her friends start to involve themselves in the wrong things. I can't wait to see Illiah and London take care of each other.

Two weeks from today Heidi and Jackie will sign Illiah out from the Orphanage forever.

Part 25 The love of a Mother and Father

Day 35 of the Ukraine adventure.
As We sit here in Ukraine waiting for our second court date, spending way more time and money than we expected I can't help but be amazed by the two people who have put their lives on hold and sacrifice as much as we have for the adoption of Illiah.

Heidi's Mom and Dad. I can honestly say that I hope every married man has the pleasure of having such wonderful In-Laws as I. From the moment we met at church and Jae invited me to lunch( the day after Heidi and my first date) they have been loving and supportive. I remember how excited they were and how involved they were in our engagement and wedding. They were even there for the proposal.

I often reflect back and think if London came to me saying she was going to get married to a guy she only met three weeks ago how I would react. Certainly not with the grace and support Jae and Jackie did. with in Two months I had taken from them a daughter and a grand daughter that they were able to see everyday. All this and still they were supportive, strike that! More than supportive they were and have been our biggest fans.

During every life challenge and move they have been there, every time we needed them. They have truly become second parents to me. We love spending time with them and never want to see them leave. All though they have been there for everything, none have required the time and sacrifice as this.

When we started this adoption I told my Father In Law that I would be here 2 weeks. If I only knew then what I know now. So the plan was that he would spend a fun two weeks with London and I would be home. Well 2 weeks turned into 6 weeks. So my Father In Law has spent 6 weeks away from his home and work. While taking care of a teenage girl and two dogs. He has registered her for her new school, Bought school supplies and school clothes. Cleaned and prepared the VA house for the Movers. Changed mailing addresses, Shut off utilities and supervised the Move from VA. He then drove from VA to TX to meet the movers, Organize, unpack and clean the house. Words cannot express my gratitude and love I have for Jae and Jackie. This adoption would not be possible with out them.

On the other side of the world is Jae's wife Jackie who came with us on this crazy Ukraine adventure. There aren't many 60 year old women who could handle this trip and do it with a perpetual positive attitude and love for adventure. Again I was only suppose to be here for 2 weeks so the intention of her being here was to be with Heidi. Although she will do just that come this Thursday when I start the trip home It has been such a blessing to have her here this entire time. All in All Jae and Jackie will go 2 months without seeing each other, all for the love they have for us and Illiah!

To Jae and Jackie thank you. For your support, love and sacrifice!

Part 24 Court Part II

The morning we had waited for had arrived. Our first court appointment was at 11am. One Month from the day we left the states.
We were picked up @ 7:15am at our apartment. We then had to go pick up the Director of the Orphanage and her son who were on vacation/ rest in Berdyansk. Side not it seems that everyone in this country is always on these month long rests. No wonder nothing gets done here everyone is always on Holiday, Vacation or Rest.

We got to the Directors Resting place @ 7:30 she was to be ready. Our driver called her and she said she and her son were eating breakfast. We were already irritated that we had to pay to drive her to Zaporishia and that there would be two adults and two kids crammed in a back seat of a car for 3 hours. You would think it would just be part of these people's job to be at the court appointment for adoption but No... Every step we take in this process is like we are beggars.
After 30 min of waiting she finally finished her breakfast and we were off to the Summer camp to pick up Illiah. When we got there they called Illiah and I had Illiah change into the court clothes we got him. The Director came up to me and said she would be back in ten min. She took the driver and left us stranded at the camp for an Hour and a Half!!! We had no Idea what was going on. There we were stuck wool suit clothes and all waiting for the director. She finally showed up @ 9:45am. Our court appointment was @ 11am and it is a 3 hour drive.

When she showed up she was in a new change of clothes. I am not sure why she changed she was already dressed up when we picked her up after breakfast. I had the driver call Victor so he could explain to me what the heck was going on. He asked me what was going on. the director told Victor that we were late and that is why we had not left. He thought we were on our way to Zaporishia already. He was surprised to find out we hadn't left yet.

Victor thought the Director was stalling on purpose because she didn't want to go to court and that she prefers the Italian's adopting children over the Americans. Victor made it clear he does not care for the Director. She has proven to him that she is dishonest and does not care about the children. This was obvious as she did not speak a word to Illiah during the 3 hour car ride. One of your orphans is getting adopted and you have nothing to say to them?!?

So finally we were on our way. There were four of us in the back seat The director, her son, Illiah and I. The Director and her son sat side by side taking up 3/4 of the back seat. It only left enough room for my butt so Illiah had to sit on my lap. Now I love my Son but 80 lbs on my lap for 3 hours while I am in a wool pair of pants squeezed up against the Ice Queen and her son is more than I could take. the boiling point for me literally was the lack of A/C, Oh the car had A/C but the guy who is controlling it is in a sleeveless mesh shirt and short shorts. Why can't the driver wear more clothes. I am in wool pants sandwiched in like a sardine with an 80lb heating pack on my lap while, Driver man is only half dressed.

Victor had lots of speculations as to why the Director would make us 2 hours late for court but all I know is she made us two hours late to a court date we have waited a month to get. then lied to Victor about the reason why.

Well with a Miracle from God and a little wheeling and dealing from Victor the court waited two hours for our arrival. I don't know who was more shocked the court waited, Us or the Director.

When we got to the court we were whisked right in. There were 11 people in the court room. The Director, Inspector, Lawyer, Secretary, 2 Jurors and the Judge. We were expecting the judge to be harsh from what we have been told but we found him to be nice just a stickler for the rules.

I was the first he asked to speak to. I stood and he asked me why we wanted to adopt this child. I went through our story, from trying to have a baby, to hosting Illiah, to starting the adoption process, to getting pregnant. I explained that our families future only exist with a new baby and Iliah. I explained that God has blessed us twice. After telling our story the whole court room burst in to smiles, laughter and chatting between the officials. The judge then spoke to Heidi who looked as pregnant as she possibly could. She shed a single tear as she told the judge of her resolve to adopt Iliah even though she was pregnant. "And the Oscar goes too..."

The Judge then asked Illiah to stand. He was obviously nervous but so cute. The judge asked him if he had spent time with us. Illiah said three weeks. The judge asked what the three weeks was like. Illiah talked about our home, his room, London our daughter and the two nice Sabackas(Dogs) He talked about all the things we did over the three weeks. The judge then asked if Illiah wanted us to be his parents and that we were only adopting him not his siblings. Illiah said yes and understood. The judge then told Illiah that his two older siblings would soon be 18 and they could assume guardian ship of him so he wouldn't have to be in the orphanage. Illiah said he knew and still wanted to be adopted.

The judge then ruled an approval for the adoption and scheduled the final court date for 1 week later. We shook the judges hands and waited in the hall for Victor. Victor was very pleased that we got the quickest court date of any of the previous couples. Victor said that the judge and jury really liked us and our story.

The Director decided not to ride back to Berdyansk with us, she wanted to take her sons friend back with her so she decided to take the bus. Illiah had to go back with her on the bus. And of Course I had to pay for 4 bus tickets to get them back to Berdyansk.

Victor and I had so many words we wanted to share with the Director but Victor said it best when he said" I keep those things hidden in my soul so she cannot make trouble for the adoption. The longer I am here the more I am amazed at what character and strength Victor possesses.

Fortunately the Director said she would be sending someone else from the Orphanage to our second court date.

God is Good!

Part 23 Court

This will be my shortest blog to date.
It was an extremely difficult day. I will fill in the details when I can write a G rated blog.

Until then...
Our court date went well they agree with the adoption and have scheduled our second court date for the 18th at 10am. This means I must stay one more week. but when I fly home next week I am home for good.

Thank you for the thoughts and prayers we needed them today.

His new name is

Illiah Jay Berlin